Spanking is not the answer as there are other ways for you to deal with a misbehaving child. Don’t discipline with physical punishment because doing that teaches children that the people who love them are the ones most likely to hurt them and that physical force is justified, and that violence is an acceptable way of solving problems. So whatever happens do not use physical force on them. Some say spanking is the best method to let a child know that they are behaving badly. Spanking does not solve anything and only teaches a child that hitting is appropriate, which sends out the wrong message. There is discipline and then there is punishment, spanking is not disciplining your child but its punishment.
Children who are spanked may feel depressed and devalued, and their self-worth suffers. Harsh punishments can backfire because they develop lying in children who are desperate to avoid being spanked. Later in life, physical punishment is linked to mental-health problems including depression, anxiety and drug and alcohol use. Spanking could affect areas of the brain involved in emotion and stress regulation. Spanking is harmful emotionally to both parent and child, it stops the behavior temporarily, it does not teach your child an alternative behavior. It also interferes with the development of trust, a sense of security, effective communication and self-discipline. It also causes resentment and harm the relationship between you and your child.
Here are some reasons why not to spank your child:
1.) Spanking gives the example that violence solves problems– Spanking also shows children that violence is the way to solve life’s problems. Physically punishing your child can be perceived as bullying, sending the message to your child that this is an effective way to get others to do things your way.
2.) Spanking exposes children to violence– Children mostly learn from their parents. Spanking is an aggressive act, showing children their parents acting in an out-of-control manner.
3.) Spanking sends a mixed signal– Spanking demonstrates that older people have a right to hit younger people. You’re sending the message that older, bigger people have the right to hit younger, smaller people. This is confusing when you’re disciplining a child for hitting someone.
4.) It teaches that hitting solves problems– Kids must learn acceptable, nonviolent alternatives to solve problems, spanking is not an example. Spanking is troublesome for a child who is short tempered. The spanking generally increases a child’s impulsiveness or aggression.
5.) It’s only a momentary cure– Spanking only stops misbehavior momentarily. The bad behavior usually resumes because a child doesn’t know how else to act.
6.) Spanking doesn’t teaches the child how to act– The child instead learns how not to get caught whenever the parent is around. The child can become good in manipulation.
7.) Spanking damages self-esteem– Self-esteem is a critically important and fragile thing. If you want your child to succeed in life, the level of their self-esteem will be a major determining factor and spanking them damages that self-esteem.
8.) Spanking can hinder the development of mental health– According to a new study, links have been found from later mental health diagnoses to higher incidents of childhood spanking for disciplinary purposes. When spanking your child, your intention isn’t to create long-term psychological problems, so stop.
9.) The child is much more likely to remember the punishment than why they were punished– They behave out of fear instead of because wanting to act right. The respectful relationship with the parent is altered.
10.) Spanking damages your relationship and trust– Spanking shakes the foundation of trust between you and your child. Your child trusts you to always have their best interests at heart. Spanking can greatly cause your child to question that.
11.) Spanking teaches children to behave through punishment– It does not teach kids self-control or the internal control. The goal of discipline is to help the child learn self-control and spanking hinders that.
12.) Spanking thwarts moral growth– It stops kids from misbehaving because they want to avoid punishment not because they want to do what is right. Key part of discipline is the calm approach which stretches moral growth.
13.) Spanking teaches your child to lie to avoid punishment– Most people do what they want to do, unless the risk of getting detected is high. Punishment teaches children to avoid detection by avoiding their parents and lying to them if detected.
14.) No one can learn when they’re afraid– It is impossible to learn and think when fearful. If you want your child to learn something, it’s important to reduce fear rather than increase it and physical punishment only increases fear.
Stay calm and quiet if your child is misbehaving or having a tantrum. When your child is calm, teach them how to handle their anger or frustration appropriately without yelling or hitting them. As tempting as it is to use your hand, think of the lesson that’s being passed down to the next generation through you.