Best possible ways to deal with your kids about ‘School Refusal’

Let’s know what might be the possible reasons behind the ‘School Refusal’ of kids :

Refusal on the part of children to attend school is most of the time taken to be an excuse. While generalizing this reluctance here parents should be careful enough to understand their children and look for any signs of genuine exasperation. To know the root cause behind ‘School Refusal’ parents can deal with this by differentiating between the normal disinterestedness and a phobia.

Kids often try to emotionally trap their parents by giving them excuses of sudden illness like stomach aches, etc. when it comes to going school. It has been observed that these kids if given a chance to stay back home because of their pseudo sickness they get back to normal again in no time. This reluctance from going school if not treated timely, may turn even worse that could affect the academic career of kids.

The following could be several reasons for which kids may refuse to go to school;

  • Bullying at school
  • Problem with a teacher
  • A test for which he/she isn’t prepared
  • Changing schools often
  • Having any kind of learning difficulties (e.g. dyslexia), which make a child feel anxious to be in front of others
  • Hearing or vision related difficulties can make your child averse to attend school.

To overcome all these above mentioned hurdles below here are few simple and interesting steps that you can follow to make a substantial progress in making your kids face school with confidence and an open mind.

Rule out physical problems:

To know the severity of the situation take the help of your doctor  to check out if your children are just making up the symptoms of sickness or they are actually suffering with it. It may happen that sometimes the child may be suffering from some serious illness which you might have failed to detect on time. This may arise as a cause for which the child doesn’t want to go school. In this case the child surely needs to stay at home for a certain period of time. However, if doctor admits that there are no signs of any illness then parents need to think about it and try to gather information as to why the child is reluctant to go to school.

Have a calm discussion with kids, and try to know what’s wrong:

It could be highly frustrating for parents who are repeatedly facing negation from their children regarding going to school. To overcome these repetitive rejection parents can choose the path of calm discussion on this matter with their children. This will help the parents to understand the severity of the situation of their children as why they are so scared from going to school.

Take advice from the school personnel:

Try to keep in touch with the class teacher and other staff members of the school. They can help you know the progress of your child once he/she is back in school. And would be willing to suggest further measures in getting your child stick on for a longer period of time. When parents are in touch with the school staff, it will help them investigate as to what is triggering the refusal in the child.

 Parents should be well behaved:

It’s not always the case but parents’ behavior can make the circumstances even worse. The yelling and scolding from parents, will most of the time make a child to do and act exactly opposite of what is expected by parents.

Every morning having fights with your kids will ruin not only the loving bond between you and them but also cause a friction, which decreases the level of trust and love that children are supposed to have for their parents.

 Seek professional help if needed:

If no matter how hard the parents are trying and it is just making the kid even more withdrawn and isolated. Then it is better to seek help from child counsellor, who will help out parents in building up different strategies and work on them one by one to help the child.

At the end of the day parents shouldn’t let their kids stay at home at all. The more time kids are out of school, the more they refuse to go back. So it’s better for parents to start with something as small as one hour per day in the school and can gradually go up from there.

It doesn’t really matter if kids are just in the class for one hour or were seen loitering around the entire day, it is still better than having them sit at home all day long. Understanding on the part of parents can help kids get back to school, and appreciating them by saying ‘you have done a brave thing being at school, I know it’s hard for you’ will boost the child’s confidence.

And it’s also recommended that kids are rewarded if they are putting efforts, the reward can be anything but must follow.


Video Credit: KidsMatterAustralia



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